G-G-Ghost
by Jasper the Poke-e-Gheist
Summary: Where has all the wine gone?
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: Where has all the wine gone?**

**Disclaimer: I know I've not updated in a while, but that was because I was very ill. It was not because I was off owning the Hobbit.**

* * *

"Ada?"

Thranduil turned his head almost like an owl to find his son standing behind him. "Legolas, what ails you? It looks as if you've seen a ghost."

Legolas gulped. He hated disturbing his father when he was tending to his precious Elk, but this was important. "I was sat outside with Galion discussing certain arrangements. And our wine... disappeared."

Thranduil gave an amused smile. "Are you sure you did not drink it?"

"I think I'd notice."

"I wouldn't be so sure." The King laughed.

"This is serious!" The prince yelled, before blushing. Quietly, he added, "It is not just the wine. There were shadows-"

Thranduil nodded once. "Aye, my son. When an object blocks the light-"

"Ada! This isn't funny. There were occasionally more shadows than elves present."

The King paused for a moment, deep in thought. "So... you've seen a ghost."

"Ada!" Legolas scowled.

"Legolas," Thranduil laughed, unable to take the subject seriously, "your eyes must have been playing tricks on you. Shadows do not go wandering around any... old... forest... Alright, bad example. But you know what I mean. You must have been mistaken."

"I saw food floating around mid-air." Legolas added seriously. "And I am not hallucinating."

Thranduil took a deep breath, placed a hand on his son's shoulder and guided him towards the palace. "Legolas... Wine does not just disappear and food certainly does not levitate-"

"Really? I thought this was an everyday occurrence. I KNOW it's strange, that is why I am telling you!"

Thranduil placed his other hand over his son's forehead. "Hmm, maybe I should take you to a healer."

"Ada."

"Maybe I should send Elrond a message."

"There is nothing wrong with me!" Legolas yelled frustrated.

* * *

"There is nothing wrong with him." Elrond told the king. He didn't mind the week and a half journey to Mirkwood just to discover there was nothing wrong; he had much to tell.

"I told you." Legolas muttered.

"I am deeply sorry for dragging you all the way here." Thranduil apologized softly.

Elrond smiled. "Oh do not apologize. I am glad you did, for I have much to tell you. Not to mention you have given me an excuse not to... well... clean Rivendell."

"Oh?" Thranduil returned the smile, hoping the tale would be a good one. Coming from Elrond meant it probably would be. "Why? What happened?"

"There was recently a food fight in the Valley of Imladris." Elrond replied.

Both Thranduil and Legolas blinked a few times, processing what the half-elf had just told them. "I'm sorry?"

"We made the mistake of entertaining thirteen dwarves. It did not go down well. They bathed in a fountain and threw our food at each other; though they did introduce Lindir to a new style of music which he has, unfortunately, grown to like."

"Well... it seems there is never a dull day in Rivendell." Thranduil commented with a smile. "What about this... _ghost_?"

"Don't say it like that." Legolas muttered.

"I would be more than happy to help you find this... ghost." Elrond offered his assistance.

* * *

Galion and a few other elves were going through the barrels sent up to them, digging through the straw used to ensure the goods would not be damaged.

"So..." One of the elves began. "...What say you about all of this?"

"What say me about what?" Galion asked as he continued searching through the barrels. "Oh fresh fruit."

"The King... and those dwarves." The same elf elaborated, wondering if he was pushing his boundaries talking about his King like that. He knew that if he did, Galion, good friend of the King's, would surely inform him.

Galion took a while to reply. He stopped his work, laying his hands on the top of the barrel. "They were trespassing." He finally replied simply.

"Is that it?" A second elf asked. "Is that all you have to say on the matter?"

"It is all I am going to say." Galion replied harshly, before softening up only seconds later. "I've found the wine!"

The other elves eagerly went over to help Galion.

"So what is this celebration for, exactly?" The third elf who hadn't yet spoken asked.

"You know, I cannot for the life of me remember." Galion replied truthfully.

"Erm, Galion..." The first elf gasped as he turned around to return to his own work, his eyes setting on the goods Galion had previously unpacked; or rather the lack of. "You all saw the fresh fruit here, did you not?"

The three elves then joined the first, sharing a gasp.

* * *

Galion gasped as he turned a corner and ran into another elf, who fell to the floor. "Oh, I'm sorry." He offered a hand to the fallen elf.

"Why so hasty?" The elf asked as he allowed the King's butler to help him up.

It was only at this point that Galion realised just who he had run into. At this point, he wanted nothing more than to run and hide in a corner. "L-Lord Elrond... I-I did not know you were here... Forgive me."

Elrond smiled as he assured the younger elf in front of him. "Oh Galion it's fine... And no, I was asked to come because... well, it is a long story. You have not answered my question."

"Oh sorry, erm..." Galion blushed as he spoke. "What was the question?"

"Why so hasty?" Elrond repeated.

"I was looking for the King." He replied honestly, before taking a deep breath. "This may sound strange... But we were looking through supplies sent to us and we found some fresh fruit which we put aside, but when we turned back they were gone. We didn't hear or see anyone. We were the only ones there."

"That does not sound strange at all."

"It doesn't?" Galion asked, confused.

Elrond shook his head. "Come, I will explain."

* * *

**This was going to be an update to my Hobbit/LOTR Spoof Fanfiction but then I felt like making this into a chapter fic.**


	2. Chapter 2

"See?!" Legolas yelled, pleased, after Galion had explained what had happened. "It's not just me! The other elves saw it too?"

Galion nodded. On one hand, he was pleased he and the prince weren't hallucinating. On the other hand, he was a little scared, though he wouldn't admit it to his king and prince.

"Galion, the wine?" Thranduil asked.

"Is safe."

Legolas jumped up from his seat and yelled, "Talk about priorities!"

"Are you sure you did not eat the fruit?" Thranduil asked, only half joking.

"He said the same thing about the wine." Legolas whispered to Galion.

Galion smiled a little, trying to hide his nervousness. "I can assure you we did not eat the wine."

* * *

"I have seen the elf who keeps the keys." Bilbo explained to the imprisoned and understandably angry but also weary Thorin Oakenshield.

"And how to you plan to get them?"

Bilbo paused awkwardly for a moment. "I don't know. But I'll find a way."

The two elf guards who had intended to walk past Thorin's cell stopped in their tracks.

* * *

There was a knock on the Elven King's door a few moment later. Though it was not Thranduil, rather Elrond, who answered it.

"Lord Elrond." The two guards gasped in surprise, raising their hands to their chests and lowering their heads momentarily.

Elrond merely smiled and turned to Thranduil. "It would be far easier to just inform the people of Mirkwood that I am indeed here." He then returned his attention to the guards. "You seem troubled."

"Come in." Thranduil said softly, soft enough to ensure that it was not a direct order but rather a friendly request. "Tell us what troubles you."

The two guards entered slowly and nervously; it was not every day an elf was invited into his king's room for a friendly discussion while the king's eyes were full of concern.

Elrond closed the door behind them quietly.

"Well..." The first guard began. "We were passing by the cells..."

"...when we heard Thorin Oakenshield talking..." The second guard continued.

"...to himself." The first finished.

"There is more." Legolas noticed. He urged the two shaken elves to continue. "Isn't there?"

The guards took a deep breath, the second speaking first. "It may have just been a trick of the light-"

"Or maybe just our eyes deceiving us." The first guard added.

"But we were sure we saw a... shadow. But there was nothing to cast it."

Legolas gave a cry of triumph, startling the two guards. "We told you! We told you something strange is going on. You can't blame this on wine drinking or apple eating."

Thranduil pondered the thought for half a minute, before replying. "Actually I _could_..."

"L-Like I said, it could have been nothing." One of the guards stammered nervously.

Legolas shook his head. "Whether the shadow was really there or not, Thorin was still talking to himself. Back me up here. You **are **allowed to prove your king wrong if you want to."

"Do you want to know my reasoning?" Thranduil asked, sadness hidden in his humor-filled tone. "Say this is just a very cunning burglar... Why here? Why would anyone want to steal from us? No burglar would be satisfied with our resources."

"What if it isn't a burglar?" Galion asked quietly.

"Well it isn't a ghost." Thranduil replied.

"My king... Maybe... if you were to speak with Thorin...?" One of the guards nervously suggested.

"Thorin would not tell me why he was trespassing, he would certainly not tell me why he was talking to himself." Thranduil said, before turning to Galion.

"No, no, please, don't make me talk to the dwarves." Galion begged. "What if they're... contagious?"

"Galion," Thranduil placed his hands on the butler's upper arms, "mellon nin-"

"Don't be nice to me so I feel compelled to do something for you."

"I will give you a year's supply of wine." Thranduil offered.

Galion thought this through. He was tempted. Very tempted. But then another thought popped into his mind. "Where do you expect to get a year's supply of wine for just one person?"

"Galion so help me I will let my elk trample you."

Galion gave a mock look of hurt and fear. "Then... who will sort out your precious wine for today's celebration?"

"Legolas will do it." Thranduil replied simply, ignoring the look his son gave him. "I can order you to do it."

Constantly looking back and forth to each speaker, Elrond then turned his attention back to the guards. "Is this what it's like in a Mirkwook council meeting?"

* * *

Galion reluctantly walked through the narrow corridors and made his way to the cells. He wondered just how long it would take to heal after being trampled by an elk. In the end, he decided he didn't want to find out. If he really wanted to know, he could always wait until the next battle and push the prince in the way of the charging beast.

"Thorin." Galion greeted the prisoner, trying his best to sound friendly.

It didn't work. "What do you want?"

"To talk." The elf replied simply.

The two exchanged glares, until the stubborn dwarf finally spoke. "I already told you-"

"Yes, I know." Galion gave an exasperated sigh. "You will not tell us why you were trespassing through our own forest. I am more interested in why you were seen talking to yourself."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Yes you do! You know exactly what I'm talking about." Galion didn't even attempt to remain calm. "Our resources keep disappearing. Then you are seen talking to yourself. If it is quite alright with your highness, we would very much like to know what is happening here."

* * *

**Comments are much appreciated. Flames will be sent straight to the fiery chasm from whence they came. **


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